THE youngest in the family, forever the baby, I received all the care and attention. I became spoiled and sometimes I would even talk back to my father, though deep down I did not want to.

My father is a short-tempered man and sometimes he scolded me and my brothers for hours for one small, meaningless problem. If I made a mistake in front of him, he would blame me for a whole day or two.

I wanted to win his respect by helping him, but every time he needed assistance my brothers got there before I did. I never had the chance to show him that I cared about him. He rarely called for me – thinking of me as a child, he never asked my suggestions on difficult matters like buying a new car or expanding his business.

He acted like he did not need me, and I did the same.
Like my father, I am strong-minded and never readily listen to others’ advice.

When my father sent me to Mandalay to study engineering at the Mandalay Technology University, I told him that I could not live there and I returned home. He was very angry with me and did not speak to me for days. My father’s decisions and mine are always different. He did not want me to go out with my friends, and I did. We fought constantly, and he was always left worried about me.

I do not love my father as much as I love my mother, who always gives me everything I want. But deep in our hearts my father and I love each other very much. We used to give each other space, but when we did not see each other we secretly felt the pain of missing a loved one.

Yet all my family thinks that I do not love my father. I think that I cannot find a reason to show my love for him in front of other people. Their misinterpretation of my feelings leaves me angry and confused. How will they know?

Last week my father had a health problem and we had to admit him to the hospital. I thought it was just a minor case and I was not very worried. But then the doctor told us my father needed to have an operation and I was so worried. Again I did not show it on my face and my relatives again criticised me.

I could not understand why they wanted to overact. They said they were so worried and bothered my father by telling him the operation could cause an infection and it would cost a lot more than he expected. My father grew upset and wanted to be discharged.

Not wanting him to leave the hospital, we lied to him. We told him it did not cost that much. But my father is a clever man and he knew that we were lying. We insisted that he stay in the hospital and listen to us.

His operation went well, but after two days he developed a high fever and fell unconscious. When I arrived by his bed, my brother told him I was there and my father opened his eyes. He looked at me even though he was nearly unconscious. I felt so sorry and cried – secretly.

The doctor told us his condition was very bad, causing us to have little hope. Again I cried – secretly.

The doctor said it would cost a lot to buy medicine for my father, but we are ready to do everything for him. I made up my mind that even if I had to give my life for my father, I would do it. But I did not tell my decision to anyone – I just tried to keep my head cool.

Yet even now my relatives blame me for not taking care of my father. I do not know what is wrong with them. They can not stop complaining about me.
Being the youngest girl in the family is not as cool as people think. No, I am not very lucky. In fact, I feel like I have been a victim.

The others always blame me when they can not find anyone to blame. They blame me for the broken glass that I did not know was broken. This matter is the same – they say my father felt ill because I did not take care of him.

In the past when I had such difficulties with others, my father stood in front of me. Though we did not speak to each other much, he stood there as my defender when my brother tried to blame me.

Now I need my father more than anyone. I pray for him every night. I stay beside him and tell him that all my life I have envied him and wanted to be like him. My father is the hero of my life. I am waiting for the day my hero will come back to me.

I believe that when my father is discharged from the hospital we will have a better relationship than we ever had as I am ready to show my love for him.